Not Featured: Fight with DignityThis may make the movie seem like its filled with nothing but John Woo dual gun akimbo shoot offs with real bulky and disturbingly asexual werewolves, but you'd be damned wrong. The movie consists of a bunch of British "plunkers" (British for gaywad) dicking around in the woods being really dumb, retarded, eviscerated, and downright " poofish" (British for decapticated...I think).
Bloody Mary's: 5. Despite the awfulness of this tardo-athon, it's like the makers spent a majority of their budget on sweet fucking gut slashes. Score 1 for B-Horror.
Titaways: -1. Unless you're really into the big hairy tits of a sexy lycanthrope that isn't banging Kate Beckinsale.
Noam Chimpskys. 1. Does anyone actually remember what this rating scale was based on? I sure as hell can't. Fearmongoloid was experiencing double retard strength when making this shit.
JESUS CHRIST THEY PUT HER IN PLAYBOYYYYYYYYYY:
Bloody Mary's: 5. Despite the awfulness of this tardo-athon, it's like the makers spent a majority of their budget on sweet fucking gut slashes. Score 1 for B-Horror.
Titaways: -1. Unless you're really into the big hairy tits of a sexy lycanthrope that isn't banging Kate Beckinsale.
Noam Chimpskys. 1. Does anyone actually remember what this rating scale was based on? I sure as hell can't. Fearmongoloid was experiencing double retard strength when making this shit.
JESUS CHRIST THEY PUT HER IN PLAYBOYYYYYYYYYY:
Sorry, I was distracted for a moment. Now that I have my wits with me, I just want to go on the record as saying that Dog Soldiers sucks donkey dong. I mean it's horribly mediocre at best, insultingly derivative at best. If you want a werewolf movie with some humor and substance, go watch An American Werewolf in London. Or at least pop one out to Underworld. That Kate Beckinsale bitch is drop undead gorgeous...er, shaddup faggot! You know you play DND. Queerbot.
1 comment:
yeah, i forgot how the rating scale works too.
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