They'd Call Him Johnny 600 If They Knew the Truth

This how IMDB describes The Curse of El Charro:
"Plagued by nightmares and her sister's suicide, Maria joins her friends on a road trip to a vacation home in a remote desert town. Once there, she finds herself hunted by El Charro (Andrew Bryniarski) - an ancient evil driven to exact a brutal revenge on Maria's lineage. The Curse of El Charro creates a world where 70's exploitation, 80's character based horror, and German Expressionist silent films can coexist against a backdrop of religious portends, bizarre dreamscapes, and chicks covered in blood" - Some Fag on IMDB

I'd describe it as:
"Plagued by craptasticly edited nightmares of some bitch dying, some chubby Mexican girl joins her jack ass friends on a trip to Bumblefuck, Arizona. Once there, the ghost of Danny Trejo proceeds not to go all Machete on their dumbasses for a little under an hour. The Curse of El Chorro is a fucking shitfest made of suck and asspoo based probably on a crackbaby's idea of what growing up in Arizona is like. Arizona is a hersey squrit. Like from a butt."

I'd also like to add that in Spanish slang chorro means diarrhea. Which is still giving this assathon a compliment. I'd like to top off with a few more complaints: Saguaro, where the move is set, is about an 8 hour drive from LA, where the movie starts. It's a straight shot on I-10. It would be impossible to get lost on it. Even women can figure out how to stay on a single fucking road, right? Another point I'd like to make is to every LA filmmaker: Please stop making an LA montage for every fucking movie you make. I get it alright, you like LA. Home of stars and sin and lots of coked out whores. La ti fucking da asshole, you graduated from USC with a film degree. I'm suprised you managed that, what with all the blow and cocksucking taking up your time. Faggot. Stop making movies and ruining to good name of Danny Trejo. He's one bad motherfucker. And he'd cut you good...with his MACHETE!

MAGREGRETS: 7. There's a lesbian carpet muching scene in the showers that reminds me of my first time: bloody and screaming.
ANNIES: 5. The tits were few and far between and not very appealing. At least there was a sexy lesbian murder scene.
CHIMPS: 3. Oh wow, this movie potrarys Arizona at its comedic finest: Not funny at all.
SANDRAS: 1. I'll explain why this movie isn't scary....right now:

In closing, if this movie was a child, it'd be the one you keep in the back room during the dinners that your boss comes over for. For some reason it builds a mythos of a torture sould craving vengeance and the divine plan to stop it all. Caught in the middle are a group of 4 LA crackheads being retarded, doing retard shit in a retard town. Seriously, there's a plot element of what appears to be angels trying help the chunky protagonist, but it really isn't made clear. Plainly put, it can't tell dildoes from snakes, and that's usally a bad thing. Also, ends up the chubby suffers from CWBS. I guess it isn't just white bitches anymore.