Nuns with Bad Puns!

Where do evil nuns go when they die? If you said evil nun heaven, you'd be wrong. Dead wrong! Instead they hang around waiting for a curse to be lifted and then straight up fuck people up with their incredible water powers. At least that's what I've from The Nun.
Seriously, there's a nun with magic water powers. But does she kill with liquid-filled lungs and hypothermia? Nope, she chops off arms, heads, and performs abortions. She's like a holy Ginzu knife.
Normally, I'm strictly anti-abortion, being an upright citizen and Catholic that has never once tortured, raped, killed, and then molested the corpse of a Thai lady-boy hooker (besides, he was brown, so it's not like he was ever human), but The Nun brings up an excellent moral quandary: what if a nun performs an abortion? Does that make it okay? I'd say yes. It's like an exorcism of an evil vagina, an evil impregnated vagina. Catholic doctrine is totally down with eradicating evil at all costs, vagina or not. What if that baby was the anti-Christ? Huh? Wouldn't you want to abort the anti-Christ? Take that pro-life Pete.
The Nun overall wasn't that bad of a movie; of course, I didn't hear a word of it as apparently party settings are not conducive to watching movies. The point is: if you like nuns getting their abortions on, then this Nun's for you!
Yeah, sorry about that.
MARGRETS: 8. Fat ladies losing arms. Fat ladies losing heads. I like this fat lady abuse.
AHHHSSS: 3. Lots of young nubile ladies in wet clothing, but no boob shots. Psh, just like every other Catholic girl! Except this one doesn't believe in anal either. Fucking prude.
CHIMPS: 8. See the MARGRET entry. I like fat lady abuse
SANDRAS: 6. Really fucking terrifying if you're or ever have been a Catholic school girl. Horrifying if you're the unborn anti-Christ. Kinda scary otherwise.

In short, The Nun wasn't as bad as I thought. Except for it suffers from CWBS. When will we learn, world? Don't let white bitches go crazy!